Finding Love at the gym – The Do’s and Don’ts

July 30, 2009 by  
Filed under The Fitness Bug

Find love at the gym while building muscle

OK, in the last post i talked about if you can really find love in the gym. Go read the post if you haven’t yet done so already. But here I’ll show you how (both ladies and gents) to actually go about approaching that guy or gal you’ve got your eye on.

Secrets for the shy type

Let me share a few secrets that will enable you to break the ice without looking like a stalker. Remember, while the gym is a great place to meet someone special, it is not as appropriate to flirt as you may do in a night club (you already know my thoughts on the night club!), yet it can require an equally detailed and thought-out approach.

Tips for men

Do’s:
• Be funny, relaxed, and playful.
• The biggest obstacle to socializing would have to be the iPod. If your person of interest is stuck in their iPod universe you’ll need to be clever and use non-intrusive solid eye contact. Be friendly, smile and look for a positive response. Be patient and work it sloooow (if you’re after one thing, she’ll sense it in a flash) and wear down the barriers. If you are receiving negative feedback it is time to move on and respect their space.
• Be prepared, pay attention to their workout regime (without becoming creepy about it!) as otherwise your person of interest may appear out of the blue, which could leave you a stuttering mess, causing you to lose that opportunity to interact. Have an ice-breaker prepared in advance, compliment her (again without seeming creepy) and once you know her name, use it! (I’m serious, do not forget her name!!!)
• Spin class is an excellent way to break the ice, the lights are down, music is high everyone is relaxed and playful. A great time to talk is either before or after the class. Just remember keep it relaxed, light and smile!
• Be friendly and fun! As i mentioned previously, great relationships often begin with friendships. Challenge them to a race on the treadmill, see who can crunch the most curls or hold the longest plank! It could leave you both in stitches (in a good way, not the medical way).

Don’ts:
• Flex in the mirror, grunt or act like Mr I’m-too-sexy for my….(you know the song)
• Over spray your cologne, heavy breathing requires fresh air, a nice light deodorant and fragrance is sufficient. (consider a nice smelling cream – it has worked for me. She’ll easily remember you this way too)
• Stare continuously like a stalker or disrespect personal space.

Tips for women

The gym a great place to find a partner who cares about their body and health. But how do you approach the guy your interested in, as he is there to exercise not socialize? (I am your prime example ;)) The last thing you want is a public rejection and have to return day in day out. There is a way to make this a win-win situation though, read on!

Do’s:
• Be warm, open and smile, you will ooze mystery and charisma. Men (and women!) love a lady who is light-hearted and fun. You will appear fresh, easy going, ensuring you will have them coming back for more.
• Make friends with the staff and other members; the more networks you are a part of the closer you will get to them.
• Ask around and see who might already know them. Find out if they are single for a start. Keep it casual and it will probably get back to them that you were showing an interest, which may motivate them to break the ice first!
• Ask them for help, for example, lifting a heavy weight on or off a machine (this is an acceptable reason). Then observe if they are happy to oblige and if so, try starting up a conversation. Of course if it feels/looks like you’re taking their valuable time and that the task is more a bother than a privilege, then you’ll know that making a move is probably not going to be well received. (this is goal driven time time ladies)
• Of course, if they are beginning to pay more attention to you and their gaze is getting more intense, ask them out! Seriously, girls…you are allowed to do it! Just keep it casual and light-hearted. If you have all the signs, casually ask them if they would like to join you for a drink. Short and relaxed is the key.

Don’ts:
• Avoid wearing overwhelming perfumes. (I don’t want to faint!)
• Don’t dress up as you were in a bar. Avoid the heavy makeup and, instead, opt for a new gym outfit, smell fresh and keep your look natural. (If you look great natural, i can’t wait to see you at your best! :))
• Don’t wear headphones as this can make you appear unapproachable (take the white buds off). To make it easy for him, invite him in with your smile, eye contact and a compliment to break the ice.

Meeting that someone special at the gym can be fun, so take a deep breath, be brave and say ‘hi’. After all, what’s the worst thing that can happen?….. just had a funny thought :D, but i’ll leave those thoughts in the comments. Now go get your girl (or guy)!

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